we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
