The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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