Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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