Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
