another moral hangover. fuck.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Shame - the story of my life.
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