Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
