Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
