Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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