Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
