): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
