he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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