youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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