Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
