i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You can't motorboat a personality
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
