I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
