I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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