he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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