i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
