Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
