why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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