What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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