I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
