if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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