she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
