So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I have post one night stand depression
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
