dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
