yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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