C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
