Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
