i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
