I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
