I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
