I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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