You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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