I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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