Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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