Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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