check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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