were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
