Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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