OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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