am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
