its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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