every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
