I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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