idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
