apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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