going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
