then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
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I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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