nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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