The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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