She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
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She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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