I have demons in me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
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