I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
