So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
