ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
