forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Randomize
