i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
