so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize