I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
