dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
