He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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