If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
