ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
