i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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