I smell stomach acid.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think weed is turning my hair brown
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
