I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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