i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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