Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
